Boarding Pass to HELL...

Here it is ladies and gentlemen.... a boarding pass to YOU KNOW WHERE!!
Instructions: Fly on a red-eye flight with 4 over-tired and over-stimulated kids (one of which is a lap child) and a husband who can't sleep. That's it!! Easy as pie.

So are you ready for the accompanying story? Since we decided last minute to book our flights to California, we had to take whatever was available. Our flight out there was pretty good (comparitively). We had a stop in Las Vegas, but no change of planes. However- all 4 kids did manage to fall asleep during the bumpy landing into LV. The only glitch was that we had to change seats in Las Vegas and wake all the kids up. At the time, it was a pain and I was pretty frustrated, but looking back after our return flight, that was a GLORIOUS time.

Fast Forward 1 week exactly. Just the schedule for our flight home was scary. We had a flight from SFO to Atlanta leaving at 10:20 pm California time. We were to land in Atlanta at 5 am their time (3 am CA time), change planes, and fly into DFW at 8:03 am. The worst part about it, which I didn't think of at the time- was that it was a red eye, BUT... my husband can't sleep on a plane. Some federal regulation about being armed and asleep, I guess. Poor guy- but he was being a good sport about it. We got to the airport and got our bags checked in without much of a problem (9 bags!) Going through security by myself with 4 kids is always fun- and even though they treated Hannah like a terrorist suspect because her walking cast set off the alarms-- she fared better than the security check on the way to California when she totally FREAKED as they pulled out the wand. So we were feeling relatively positive- we got to our gate in plenty of time and bought a few smoothies to get everyone's tummies topped off and ready to SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP the whole way home. Dream on MAMA!!!

Our row consisted of Hannah at the window, Me in the middle w/ Barrett on my lap, and Bill on the aisle. Across from us was Hunter on the aisle, Brock in the middle, and some singing Asian guy with headphones on at the window. (Brock later got to know him a little better as he rested his head on his shoulder to sleep! :) Hunter and Brock both fell asleep before the drinks were served- so just forget about them-- FOR THIS FLIGHT SEGMENT. Cut back to Hannah and Barrett. The idea was to have Barrett sleep across Bill's and my laps and Hannah could lean over onto me too. They had a different idea, apparently. Barrett cried for the entire 4 1/2 hour flight. I take that back- about every 1/2 hour he would stop and fall asleep for a few minutes, only to wake up again and scream his head off. Hannah whined and cried a majority of that flight as well because Barrett was waking her up and I wouldn't let her play with her light on. We landed in Atlanta with many a sigh of relief from the people around us to be getting off that flight with the screaming "almost" 2 year old. We were pretty tired, but sure we could get Barrett asleep between flights and ensure a smoother flight into DFW..........WRONG!

It took 1/2 an hour (with more crying!) to de-plane, which left us with 1/2 hour to get to our connection. Mind you, it's 3 am for these kids, let alone us! We get off at E19 and ask the gate agent where our next flight is out of- A34. Yes, you read that right, 5 terminals away. And 34 was the last gate in that terminal. We have 2 sleepy older boys, a whiny 5 year old in a walking cast, a screaming baby, an out of shape pregnant mama, and a dad who's both tired and 2 weeks post knee surgery. "Let's go TEAM SIVLEY!! Smiles on your faces and sprint to the next flight!!" We got to our next flight just in time to board the plane, sit down, and take off. Barrett needed a diaper change and everyone was just plain cheery! I know this is long, but it's really good reading... just a little more... I promise!

Flight takes off- about 1/2 hour into the 2 hour flight, the seatbelt sign is turned back on and the pilot comes on. "Folks, we are heading into some pretty severe storms ahead. We may be fighting these storms all the way to Dallas. We are going to ask our flight attendants to buckle up and stay seated, so please make sure you are all buckled tightly and stay in your seats. This could be a very bumpy ride." So we're bumping along. Hunter's looking a little green. And we bump some more- quite a bit more. Hunter says, "I'm gonna be sick." Mom looks for barf bags in the seat pocket- NONE to be found in all 6 seats we are occupying. Hunter gets up and heads to the bathroom- ignoring the flight attendant telling him to get in his seat. It was so turbulent that neither Bill or I were able to get up and go back with him. A few minutes later, the plane dips to the left and drops about 25 feet in the sky. We all come off our seats. The flight attendant yells to Bill that Hunter needs him. (Hunter's in the bathroom yelling, 'HELP!!!') Bill goes back to find Hunter covered in vomit and the bathroom newly remodeled in vomit wallpaper and flooring. He apparently lost it just as the plane was dipping. He threw up EVERYWHERE, including the bar he could have held onto before he got knocked into the wall. It was too slippery. I hand back a package of wet wipes and Bill proceeds to clean Hunter up and then the bathroom. Can you say HAZMAT!? Hunter comes and sits back down, along with the odor of vomit trailing closely behind him. And guess who can't handle the smell? Oh yeah, his dear brother Brock. Throws up all over himself, his seat, his backpack- oh yeah!! Bill, who just sat down, looks over at me and says, "WHAT NEXT?!?!?!"

So it's my turn for throw up duty. I go back and clean up Brock, we get his seat sorta clean, his backpack sponged off and he sits back down. Both boys have a can of sprite and a LARGE trash bag in front of them. And guess who's asleep across the row? Hannah and Barrett.... peaceful and angelic as can be. The people around us are all dry heaving, trying not to vomit between the smell and the turbulence- which by the way is still REALLY BAD... and Bill and I look at each other and say, "NEVER AGAIN... not until this kid (point to belly) is at least 5." I'd rather drive for 3 days than take that flight again. To wrap it up, Hunter threw up one more time, this time he made it in the bag, and we landed a little bit later with cheers and applause all around-- the most by us! Came home, showered, started the washer, and went to bed... thinking it was all just a bad dream- I wish!