Potty Talk...

I'm sitting here in front of the potty while Bauer is trying to perform... I can't type fast enough to record this hilarious conversation- where is my video camera!?!?!?

*I've gone back and done Bauer's words in Blue and mine in Green.*

Mom, can I get off now?
No- you need to go poop.
PLEASE!?!?  You're my friend.
No.
PLEASE!  I like you!
No.
Mom, do you have boobies?
Yes.
I just have Chets.
You have what? (thinking he said "tits." GAG)
Chets.
WHAT?
CHEST.
Oh, (whew!) Yes, you have a chest.
MOM!  I just did more toots!  Can I get off now?
No.
Mom, I'm your friend.  I like your hair. Can I get off?
No.
I don't like your hair.  Can I watch a movie?
No.
Come on.  Press the button.  Do it.  Press it mom.
I don't have a movie Bauer, this is my computer.
Ok, can I get off now? (clapping out of boredom).
Bauer, just do it.  Do lots of toots.
I can do burps.  EEEEHHHHH (burp)  I did it!!!  Can I get off now?
No.
AAAAAHHHHH!  I just did burps.  I want to see dad.
I want to see poop in the potty.
I can't mom.
Yes you can.
See- (grunting noise) it hurts mom.  I can't do it.  Can I get off now?  Please!
(smiling) You can do it!
Don't mom.  Don't smile.  You'll be in time out!  Don't smile.  Smile at my face. Now do an angry one. (i do it)Now do a pirate one.
A pirate?  How do I do a pirate one?
He shows me with one eye closed and the mouth all skiwampas (sp?). I try.
Now do a turtle one.
How do I do a turtle one?
You go like: "It's a turtle one!!!"
Me: "It's a turtle one!!!"
No- it's like turbo time one. (thankee Jingle all the Way movie).
IT'S TURBO TIME!
No- "IT'S TURBO TIME!" (complete with hands on hips.)
- hold on, must pause typing to put my hands on my hips... "IT'S TURBO TIME!!"  Did I do good?
Yeah.  Can I get off now?
Yes.
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, the joys of potty training.  4 down, 2 to go!