I am jealous of myself...

I have to admit, there are times in my life when I've been a little jealous. Like the time I went to play at a friend's house and she already had a playdate. OR, as a little girl on nights when I would lay in bed upstairs listening to the "clink" of the ice cream scoop, knowing my parents were having dessert when they told me I couldn't have any. (My weight issues have been going a long time!) OR when I was at a stake Halloween dance and, while dancing, Katie (who was dressed as a cowgirl- what else would she be? Her dad owned a western wear store!) took off her cowboy hat and put it on Billy. Yes, that's MY BILLY... I won, ha ha. Once again, I am jealous, but I am jealous of ME!!! I'm so lucky.

Some of you may remember THIS post, written at 35 weeks pregnant with Bauer, our 5th child. I was D.O.N.E. And, I have to say, that while I am super uncomfortable, big as a house, tired, worn out, and ready to have this baby... I am enjoying these last 7 weeks (talk to me in a month). With this being our LAST baby-- mark my words, hold me to it, I am trying to capture the moments and remember how much I love this calling of motherhood. You know, like Hannah says, I "birth alot."

You see, my absolute favorite part of having a baby is the last week or two BEFORE I have the baby. I look at pregnant women who are close to going into labor and I get jealous. I want to be there-- even when I'm not pregnant. Just the anticipation of when? how? where (hopefully not in the car)? how long will labor last? is completely exciting to me. These are some things I want to remember, and some I am looking forward to:

Baby kicking- this is one of my most favorite things. Even though towards the end, it gets painful, it is still so magical. I love feeling little feet, seeing them run across my stomach, pushing the little guy's bum back down when he sticks it up, and even the hiccups. I feel like I already know him through our interactions.

Firm, round, belly- after this, it's all downhill. No more sticking my belly out cuz I can. Back to the world of "sucking it in." Back to the world of my stretch marks looking like a shriveled raisin and having a dunlop belly, and no, we're not talking about golf clubs or tires.

Zerberts on my belly- sounds gross, but is actually really funny when Bauer does it. Funny kid.

Hearing the heartbeat- I love going into my OBGYN and having her listen for his heartbeat. I love even better when she finds it and says, "he's happy in there!" I know all too well what it's like not to be able to hear it. Worry...

Looking forward to:
Contractions- I KNOW! Call me crazy, but I am looking forward to timing them and getting ready for birth. This signals the beginning of the excitement!

Packing my hospital bag- I love getting everything ready and packing the baby's clothes, blankets, onesies... and smelling the cleanness of baby detergent... mmm!

Driving to the hospital- here we go!

Dilating and progressing- we're getting closer to meeting our sweet boy.

Pushing, Delivering- The plan is to do the same (or more) for this delivery... once Bauer's head was out, I reached down and pulled him out, the doctor never touched him after she suctioned his mouth. I delivered him right up onto my chest, all warm and slimy. For a wanna-be-nurse, it was the coolest thing ever. I really really loved it. Y'all may be thinking, "GROSS" or "WEIRD," but it was just plain awesome.

Nursing- I love breastfeeding my babies. Especially within minutes of being born. It is just so comforting and fulfilling.

Staying in the hospital- Those 2-3 days I get alone with my baby are wonderful. Bill tries to spend as much time as he can, but he's usually holding down the fort at home. (The more kids we have, the less time he gets to spend...:( But I love someone else taking care of ME. I enjoy friend's visits and sleeping whenever I want with that warm baby in my arms. It is a favorite time for me.

Post hospital care- Having my mom come when my babies are born is so great. I am so lucky to have both an amazing mom and mother-in-law to help me out so much. My mom stayed for 8 days when I had Bauer and they were truly 8 days of Heaven. If she's not taking care of me, she's taking care of baby and I know the world will be alright. Oh, the comforts of mom. I am so looking forward to that again... almost makes me want to-- NEVERMIND. This is our last baby.

Dec. 8th cannot come soon enough, and maybe baby __________ (still haven't decided!) will decide to make his appearance earlier... but until then--- I am trying to sit back and enjoy. Remember these days, let our little guy have the time to get his last minute instructions from Heaven, and prepare to come to this crazy family of our's. It's going to be an adventure for sure! So until then, I'll keep peeing when I sneeze, being awake at 4 am for no good reason (except to feel baby say hello!... he's just preparing me!), wobbling like a duck, and rubbing this belly for good luck. I'm going to need it!