Just don't call P.E.T.C.H. Or is there such a thing? People for Ethical Treatment of CHildren... yeah, it's called Child Protective Services. No seriously-- none of this would be necessary if my kid would just behave! No really seriously-- I AM TOTALLY JOKING. So don't go pick up the phone...
But I've been having thoughts lately...
We got an electric collar for our dog Dodger. It's a miracle. He is so obedient. This collar, made by SportDog is the best invention EVER! It is equipped with a warning beep that does not deliver a little shock- and 8 levels of electrical stimulation. We've done our little test to see what Dodger's pain tolerance level is. He's sort of a wimp compared to his friend NASH. Nash has to have his collar on 8. Dodger's is on 3 and he's grovelling at my feet. But he's just a pup. He's actually only been "shocked" 4 times (which really isn't even a shock, tried it out on my wonderfully cooperative husband last night, he said it wasn't even as bad as when he used to shock himself w/ a battery as a kid, very minor... thanks hun for being the guinea pig!). Three times to keep him inside our rolling gate when we are coming or going, and once when he jumped up on the counter to get some food. The rest of the time, I just sound that little beep to warn him and he stops what he is doing IMMEDIATELY... no shock necessary! He's mellowing out in the 3 days we've had it. Last night he went to his kennel himself and went in, waited for us to shut the door. Good boy.
Now here's the reason for my deep thoughts lately... if I only had an electric collar for my 3 year old? How would his behavior be different? I mean, I love this kid-- REALLY REALLY love this kid-- but come one, when he smiles at me AS HE THROWS a truck at his brother's head, or chuckles as he empties his drawers of clothing for the 2nd time today... What a little SHOCKER wouldn't do?!?! Or maybe just that warning beep... hmmm, I think it'll fit around his waist. There's another kid around here I'd like to deliver some stimulation to as well, but he's much bigger, I might have to put it around his thigh.
All kidding aside, I know kids are kids... and they like to test their parents, but parents like to experiment too... ha ha ha ha HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
